I have been feeling very disconnected from my spiritual path. I guess its ok, i mean of course, it bothers me, but im not terribly upset. i feel like so much is going on right now. i have stress with work, and work at home. im always feeling sick lately. not sure when i can get health insurance so i can get some things tested. spiritually, i know everything will work out. but sometimes the stress and worry are overwhelming. right now im ok. i feel ok. i did mow the lawn today, which felt nice. but now im pooped out and restless all at the same time....oh well...

Rain chain and compost bin pictures

Phew! finally on a real computer, where i can type faster! 

lately Ive been crazy confused about what i want to do with my life. i had a mishap at work a few weeks ago and realized that I'm just not happy there anymore. its ok; it really is. i can manage, but overall, i feel like I'm not being heard again. and as the 3rd from the "top" administrator wise, i feel like my happiness and my opinions should matter more than they do. i shouldn't have to fight for my sanity daily. my thoughts and concerns shouldn't fall upon deaf ears. or ears that fix it for a week or two, and then let it fall to the back burner, and eventually off the stove completely. So that's why i feel unhappy at work in a nut shell. 

I don't know what else id do honestly. i don't really want to go back to retail if i don't have to. and i don't think i have the drive to start fresh at a different daycare. I am an assistant director now, and chances that id get a job like that again are slim. idk, maybe its not as slim as i think...idk...i have even tossed around the idea of starting my own in-home daycare. but my house isn't quite big enough for that. In a perfect world, i wouldn't need to work, and id watch a few kids a few days a week as an extra income. but currently I'm the breadwinner, which is fine, since i know that someday i wont have to be. 

Essentially, im just tired right now. thats it. just tired. 

I also have baby on the brain. two women at my job are pregnant, and i cant help but wish we could afford it right now. id love to be!! so i turned my attention to my garden, and my homesteading...which worked...for about a month. now im back on it, and totally distracted by it. i started a pinterest pinboard called "not yet...but someday" and started pinning baby announcement photos/ideas. i figured people would assume i was pregnant if i went baby crazy on pinterest. i cant help it though. it feels like the next step. i think scott is scared of the reality of it--when it actually does happen. (for the record, we are not trying yet... lol) but i did find some really cute ideas for announcements for when it does! Among my favorites is a photo of an oven opened, with a bun in it....!!! I love that! so cheesy but so scott and i! :) 

i think that i am just distracting my self with baby stuff and gardening and homesteading. that way i dont have to think about my work situation....food for thought.

until next time! brightest blessings!

-Isa

 

New update...

I realize its been almost 3 months since my last post. But in that time, we have finally moved to our new house, settled in, and are quickly making our lives together. :) So much has been going on that I don't know where to start. First off, I don't have internet access except on Scotts computer, so I feel a little uncomfortable doing all my mundane things like blogging on it. So right now im on my phone. Which works, but makes it hard to be long winded like I usually am.

I'll try to write more of an update later, for now I'm at work and should get to it :)
    BB